'Nothing could mean anything at all'

I curled up in bed with Tyler tonight, he was restless and complained of a stomachache, but as a good mama, I knew it was something more than that.

"Are you upset about Apaa?"

He didn't answer, but even in the darkness I could see the tears sliding down his cheeks. I got a cold cloth and gently wiped his face. I struggled to find words that would matter, that he would remember when he was grown and he was going through this with me, words that maybe he would remember and repeat to his own children:

"I know it's hard, and it's okay to cry. It's okay to feel sad. But death is normal, we all die someday. I could die tomorrow, there are no guarantees I will live to be an old lady. But if I die, Tyler, you have to know that my love for you will still be here. My love will never leave you, and the same goes for Apaa. We all have to still live our lives and be happy, because life is short, rediculously, crazily short, and my most fervent wish for you and your siblings is to get out there and LIVE your lives to the fullest. Tyler, I used to wonder what God had in store with me and you when I got pregnant. I was only 22 and so very scared and unprepared. I knew there was a plan, I knew you would be a fabulous human being, but I also felt there was more, a higher purpose to the strife and turmoil that went with being an unwed mother in 1995. And do you see now how lucky you are? You have a close relationship with all four of your grandparents, not many people can say that. My parents were young enough to really enjoy you and watch you grow up, and someday soon you will read all the things Apaa wrote about you, and you will know that he adores you. Henry will have some memories of my Dad, Addie even fewer, but YOU, my dear boy, will have a treasure trove. You will be the ones to tell them stories about Apaa and how much he loved them. That is a wonderful thing. My Dad got almost 14 years with his first born grandson, and I'm grateful for that. It's okay to cry, because this is sad. Trust me, I cry all the time. I'm going to miss him like hell. But we will see him again. "

Everything alive must die
Every building built to the sky will fall
Don't try to tell me my
Everlasting love is a lie

Everlasting everything
Oh nothing could mean anything at all

Every wave that hits the shore
Every book that I adore
Gone like a circus, gone like a troubadour
Everlasting love for ever more

Oh I know this might sound sad
But everything goes both good and the bad
It all adds up and you should be glad
Everlasting love is all you have